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The Four Times...
A/N: Hey, guys! This is just a stupid little story I came up with. In my opinion, it absolutely sucks, but I wanna know what you guys think of this craptastic thing that I'm passing off as a story. There have only been four times I've seen my little sister cry. Four times. When you think about how bright and cheery she usually is, it's kind of hard to imagine her crying. Knowing how tough and dark she can be also makes it really hard to imagine her crying. But there have been times. The four times... It tore me up to see my bright little sunflower being pushed to the point of tears. I feel guilty, not being able to save her from what made her cry. She forgave me each time, though, saying it wasn't my fault. But I can't help but feel like it was completely my fault. The first time was when she lost her cat, Pryncesa. We were walking through the snow, trying to get back home before the blizzard reached us. We had taken Tiger, Pryncesa, Sheba out for a walk in the woods. It was only intended to be a half-hour walk, but Pryncesa's leash had snapped, and she had been lost in the snow. I insisted that we head home because her life wasn't worth a cat's, but she wouldn't listen. She continued on, ignoring my protests. She dropped Tiger's and Sheba's leashes, knowing they wouldn't go anywhere unless they were ordered to. She ran into the swirls of snow that were blown up into the air. I searched and searched for hours, not being able to find the smallest trace of my little sunflower or Pryncesa. I decided I was too cold to press on, so I returned home to get some vodka and head out again. When I opened the door, I saw my little sunflower, sitting in front of the fireplace, drinking a mug of hot coaco. "She's gone," she whispered. "I couldn't find her." "S-Sunflower..." I murmured. "It's not your fault." "It is my fault. I should have been able to keep track of her. You better just give Tiger and Sheba to Uki, since I obviously can't take care of them." It was my fault. There had to be a way to make this my fault. "Это я виноват." "How could it have been? I was the one walking her." "I bought a cheap leash for her. And the harness was a peice of crap, too. Это я виноват." She was silent. "It's unlike you not to make eye contact..." "I'm too ashamed to look up from my feet." "But even so, it's—" She sniffled. "Just go away." "Are you—" "Да." She looked up, her violet eyes filled with tears. "Sunflower..." "Lavender." Lavender? I couldn't believe she just called herself that. I always called her Sunflower because she reminded me of them; bright, cheery, happy, and always smiling. And she always made me happy. "Don't you ever say that again!" I yelled. "I will...I will tie you up with barbed wire if you do!" "The lavender represents me perfectly." She paused. "Why aren't you doing anything, huh?" I sat down next to her. "Y-you know I couldn't hurt you... I couldn't, because it's my fault you feel this way..." "It's not your fault," she insisted. "It's mine." The second time is when I had hurt her. I had come home from a walk in the woods. I went alone because Sunflower had broken her leg. "Добро пожаловать домой," she greeted me. "How was your walk?" "It wasn't as much fun without you." I sat down on the couch next to her. She didn't look up from her book. "Hey, Ivan, if I prayed to God and asked him for healing, do you think he'd help?" "Нет!" I hit her in the face as hard with the book she was reading, which was the Bible, as I possibly could. What she had just said...it was infuriating! "He won't help! He can't help!" "Wh-why not...?" I can't remember what happened after that. I remember that I was screaming at the top of my lungs, I was hitting her with a pipe, I was cutting her with a pocketknife, and she was crying. After I had calmed down, she was lying on the ground, broken, bloody, and crying. A wave of guilt washed over me. My precious little sunflower that I had sworn to keep safe at all costs was lying on the ground, unable to get up, because of me. There were cuts on her face, and blood dripped from her nose. Her clothes were soaked from blood that had spilled from her arms and stomach. I had done this to her. It was all my fault. "I-I...I didn't..I just..." I choked on my words. "It's okay," she responded weakly. "It wasn't your fault." "How is it your fault when I'm the one...the one that..." She looks up at me. I expected to see hurt an anger in her eyes, but behind the tears, there was only forgiveness and guilt. I sunk to my knees and hugged her tightly. I was on the verge of tears. My precious sunflower...how could I live with myself now? How could I go on knowing that I just broken my little sunflower? "Please don't cry," she mumbled. "And don't beat yourself up about it." I didn't honestly think she would forgive me for that...I didn't want her to forgive me for that. "It's not your fault." "How isn't it?" I demanded. "How is it? I was the stupid one who asked a stupid question. Everything you yelled..." She coughed. "...It made me realize my idiocy." "I-idiocy? You didn't know!" Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, I repeated over and over to myself. She nodded. "Yes. You were yelling at me about how there's no way for something to be floating in the sky and controlling our fate. Thinking about it that way, I really hate the idea of that." I hugged her tighter. "I'm still the one who hurt you..." "Your mind and thoughts took over. It happens sometimes. It's not your fault." She rested her head on my shoulder and passed out. The third time was New Year's Day, when she had thrown up on my scarf and wet the bed. I had woken up later than usual. I was getting ready for my morning walk through the woods. As I was about to leave, I noticed my scarf wasn't where it usually was. I walked into the kitchen to have breakfast first. I found my little sunflower scrubbing my scarf violently. She looked up, sobbing, "Прости, Прости, Прости." "Sorry for what?" I asked. "I-I th-threw up on your sc-scarf..." I knew there had to be something else wrong as well, because this wasn't something that could, on its own, make her cry. "I didn't mean to...it was an accident, I promise!" She rinsed it off, wrung it out, and layed it out on the counter. She rubbed her eyes and started to go up the stairs. "Where are you going?" I inquired. "I'm gonna go get the laundry done early." "Uki came over last night, remember? She promised to do the laundry. She came over so you could have a day off of your chores." "Oh, r-right..." There was a loud yell from upstairs. "Ivaaaaaaan! Will you please come here for a moment?" It was Uki. I went up the stairs, though there was a look in Pechka's eyes begging me not to. "What is it?" I asked. "It's about Pechka..." she whispered. "Um...she kinda...wet the bed...I just thought I should let you know..." I nodded and went back downstairs. Pechka was crying again. My poor little sunflower. "Sh-she told you didn't she?" I nodded once, very slightly. "I'm sorry...I'm very sorry...I-I guess I just drank too much vodka." Confession time to make her feel better. "It happens to everyone, Sunflower." She looked up. "R-really? E-even you?" "Uh-huh. Every time I drink too much vodka before I go to bed." I wiped away her tears. "Your accident will remain a secret between us three." She nodded. "Okay." The fourth time is when she burned down my sunflower garden. I found her in her room, crying and reading one of her spellbook. "Give me three days," she whimpered. "For what?" I sat down next to her. "I-I'm so sorry...I b-burned down your sunflowers... I was playing in the middle and I accidently casted a spell that set them on fire and I couldn't put it out..." "That's okay." I hugged her. Sure, I love sunflowers. They were pretty and bright, but they had burned while Pechka was right in the middle, so I was just thankful that the most valuable sunflower was okay. "B-but—" "They'll grow again. I'm just that you're still perfectly fine. I don't care if they burned. As long as you're alive, it really doesn't matter." The four times that I will never forget are those... Category:Stories Category:Invader Moss's stories Category:Invader Moss's pages Category:Invader Moss